This was our third long-haul trip with our toddler, and I genuinely thought I had finally cracked the code. I went into it with the confidence of someone who has done this before — the packing lists, the sleep windows, the toys, the snacks, the timing. I really believed I had figured out everything.
I have to admit I was wrong.
Our journey from Auckland to Hungary was horrible, exhausting, and full of unexpected turns. The kind of trip that humbles you as a parent and reminds you that toddlers don’t care about your plans, your spreadsheets, or your “experience.” They care about their bodies, their rhythms, and their impulses — and you’re just trying to keep up while crossing continents.
What I learned on this trip wasn’t just about flights or layovers. It was about the invisible mental load of travelling with a toddler: the constant anticipating, adjusting, soothing, entertaining, and troubleshooting. The emotional labour that starts long before you board the plane and doesn’t end until you’re finally home again.
First Attempt: Perfect Plan Falls Apart
I thought I planned everything beautifully — until reality hit. On our first flight, he didn’t sleep. Not even close. He was overstimulated, excited, and determined to explore every corner of the cabin.
By the time we landed, he finally fell asleep… at the worst possible moment. Lights on, turbulence, people standing up — and then security. They don’t care how long it took you to get your toddler down. You still have to remove your child from the carrier. And yes — he woke up instantly.
That moment alone could have been the whole blog post.
Second Attempt: Adjusting Expectations
For the next flights, we changed strategy. We tried tiring him out before boarding — and it actually worked. He slept more, which helped us survive the long haul.
But even with better sleep, entertaining a toddler on a 9+ hour flight without screens is its own sport. Toys and books only last so long. At some point, you run out of options, ideas, and energy. And toddlers don’t understand that the aisle isn’t a playground, especially during meal service.
Crew Lottery
The contrast between crews on this trip was wild.
On one flight, the crew adored him so much they wanted to take a selfie with him — but he was too excited to stay still. They laughed, they played with him, they made us feel like we weren’t a burden.
On the next flight, the crew was the complete opposite. They were visibly annoyed, and at one point even shouted at us. And yes, Veeru’s running collided perfectly with their serving time — the worst possible moment. But toddlers don’t understand “later.” They understand now.
This is the mental load: constantly trying to read the room, manage your toddler’s impulses, avoid disturbing people, and keep everyone safe — while also being exhausted yourself.
Seat Dilemma
If you’re lucky (or wealthy), you can book an entire row of three seats. On our first flight — Auckland to Brisbane — we had the whole row. Bliss.
But on the next flights, we had the middle and aisle seats. Not ideal.
Toddlers are long. They need space. And when I had to put him on the side next to the stranger, his leg kept touching the person beside me. He didn’t want to stay with my husband in the aisle either — and when he did, he half-hung into the aisle and people bumped into him.
The second-best option after three seats? The window seat. You only bother yourself and your partner.
Packing for the Unknown
Because our luggage was checked through to Budapest, we had to pack enough clothes, nappies, wipes, and essentials for 2–3 days. This is the mental load no one sees: planning for delays, accidents, lost luggage, unpredictable toddler needs.
It’s not just packing. It’s forecasting.
Taipei Layover: Humidity, Exhaustion, Human Limits
We had a 19-hour layover in Taipei. You arrive at 5am and your next flight is at 23:55 — clearly designed so you go into the city and spend money.
Taipei is lovely, but not in June or July. The humidity was brutal. And when you’re already sleep-deprived, hot, sticky, and carrying a toddler, your best self does not show up.
We booked a room, but could only check in in the early afternoon. There’s a big gap between landing at 5am and getting a room. And when you’re already tired, that gap feels endless.
Exorcist Moment in Taipei
When Veeru gets overtired, he doesn’t just get cranky — he transforms.
In the maze of Taipei Main Station, he suddenly started screaming like something out of a horror movie. People stared at us like we were hurting him.
We rushed to find a breastfeeding/parent room. The moment he latched, everything softened. The screaming stopped. The world became quiet again.
Toddlers flip between extremes so fast — and navigating those swings in public is its own emotional marathon.
Cancellation Curveball
Our final flight — Melbourne to Auckland — got cancelled on the day of departure. Just like that, our already exhausting journey became even longer.
Instead of two flights home, we suddenly had three:
- Vienna → Taipei
- Taipei → Melbourne
- Melbourne → Auckland
When you’re already stretched thin, a cancellation feels like a punch in the stomach.
The Lounge Discovery
Thanks to the cancellation and long wait in Melbourne, we checked out the lounges for the first time. We have an American Express Platinum Card, but I never realised you could just walk in, eat from a buffet, and enjoy free drinks.
We had breakfast and lunch there — a small miracle in an otherwise exhausting day. We even asked the waiter how much it cost because we didn’t see prices. He could tell it was our first time.
It was a pleasant surprise, and honestly, we wouldn’t have discovered it if our flight hadn’t been cancelled. Sometimes there is something good hidden inside the bad.
The Moments That Broke Me (and Taught Me)
(Insert forehead-to-forehead photo here)
The Temptation of “Sleep Solutions” on Flights
I kept seeing parents online recommending pills or drops to help toddlers sleep on flights — melatonin, antihistamines, “just something to calm them.”
I understand the temptation. But I’m hesitant. Melatonin is a hormone. Toddlers’ brains are still wiring themselves. I personally don’t want to interfere with that unless a doctor says it’s necessary.
Everyone does what they need to survive — no judgment. But for me, the risk feels bigger than the benefit.
The One Unexpected Win
Because his sleep was so chaotic, he actually slept through the night in Budapest — for the first time in his life. A tiny miracle. A temporary one, unfortunately.
So What’s the Best Way to Travel From Auckland to Europe?
There’s no perfect answer — only what works for your toddler and your nervous system.
Option 1: One ultra-long flight (24+ hours)
Good if your toddler sleeps well on planes. Terrible if they don’t.
Option 2: Two flights with one break (Middle East route)
Great for movement and mental resets. Less ideal right now due to conflict.
Option 3: A long layover (like Taipei)
Best if your toddler doesn’t sleep on planes. But only if the layover is 6–10 hours — not 19.
For us, the layover was too long, too humid, and too early in the day. A shorter break in a cooler climate would have been perfect.
Final Thoughts
When things go wrong — cancellations, overtired screaming, bad timing, rude looks — try to remember: this is temporary. It feels endless in the moment, but it always passes.
And if people give you bad looks (usually single people or very young travellers), remind yourself: you will never see them again. Their opinion doesn’t matter. Your child does.
This trip taught me that travelling with a toddler isn’t just logistics — it’s emotional labour. It’s managing their needs, your exhaustion, strangers’ reactions, and unpredictable situations while crossing continents.
It’s hard. It’s humbling. And sometimes, it’s beautiful in tiny, unexpected ways.
This was probably our last long-haul trip before he turns two. And honestly, I understand why.
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