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The Never-Ending Chore
Cleaning feels like a never-ending battle. No matter how often I tidy up, the mess somehow finds its way back. Spills, toys, laundry, dishes… it’s like fighting fires all day long. People call me messy or disorganized, but the truth is: when you’re in survival mode, there’s barely any brain space left for deep cleaning or perfect organization. And honestly, if I had the energy, I’d rather spend it on something that actually brings me joy.
Sleep When the Baby Sleeps?
People love to say, “sleep when your baby sleeps.” I used to love hearing that advice, but in reality, those quiet moments were the only time I could catch up on chores. Cooking and cleaning are far less stressful when a baby isn’t underfoot. When my baby is awake, I want to spend time with him—not juggle chores. He’s not yet at the stage where I can include him in household tasks, though sometimes I’ll hand him a coconut ball and a wooden spoon so he can play nearby, or let him explore the dishwasher while I work in the kitchen.
The Cleaner Who Saved Me
In the early postpartum months, recovering from birth injuries, I had a cleaner who came twice a week. For just an hour each visit, he vacuumed, mopped, folded laundry, and unloaded the dishwasher. Looking back, it was incredible. Our home stayed neat and orderly, a stark contrast to the chaos we live in now. That experience taught me how much a clean environment affects mental health. For many people—especially women, in my experience—seeing clutter and mess can feel overwhelming. It shapes how you see yourself, and it’s deeply depressing to feel like you’re drowning in disorder.
The Feminist Whisper
Stay-at-home mom life isn’t just cuddles and playtime—it’s cooking, cleaning, laundry, errands. A full-time job stacked on top of parenting. And maybe, deep down, I’m rebelling against the idea that this should all fall on me. Maybe it’s the feminist in me whispering, “Why is this still the default?”
And here’s the kicker: going back to work doesn’t make the chores disappear. They’re still waiting. Now I’m juggling a job, a child, and a house. My partner is tired too, but how do we rebalance the load? How do we make it fair without burning out?
Reality vs. Expectations
Before having children, many imagine that staying home with a baby is like a vacation, or that they’ll have time to study, work, or pursue hobbies. But reality hits hard. Sleep deprivation stretches on for months, and the idea of enrolling in a course or tackling big projects feels impossible. Some parents are lucky—babies who eat well, sleep well, and leave them bored—but that’s the exception, not the rule. Most of us are simply trying to survive the exhaustion.
Choosing Myself
Still, there are days when I choose myself. I set aside the chores, the mess, and the expectations, and I sit down with a book or watch a series. Those small acts of self-prioritization remind me that caring for myself is just as important as caring for my baby.
Right now, my mother-in-law is staying with us, and she’s been a lifesaver—helping with chores, watching my son. Without her, I’d be completely overwhelmed. I’ve even considered hiring a cleaner again. But then I wonder: should I just let go and stop caring so much? Or will the mess take over if I do?
The Big Question
Motherhood is messy, exhausting, and beautiful all at once. The chaos doesn’t disappear—it just shifts. What matters is how we navigate it, and whether we allow ourselves moments of rest and joy along the way.
So I’m curious: how do you manage the chaos at home? Is your house always spotless, or do you struggle too? Share your story—I’d love to hear your secret.
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